


why you bother me when you know you dont want me?

by flow3rs



Series: lost but not found [2]
Category: High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Crying, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Feelings, Infidelity, M/M, Unhealthy Relationships, lots of em - Freeform, mayhaps too many of them...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:27:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25430881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flow3rs/pseuds/flow3rs
Summary: EJ didn’t try to pretend like he understood why Ricky chose to go back to Nini. Didn’t bother lying to himself and pretending he wasn’t just the slightest bit hurt. He knew Ricky and him were just “hooking up” but it kind of felt like there was something else bubbling between them that hadn’t been able to come to fruition.But EJ was trying to be a better person so he respected that Ricky had made his choice.Ricky chose Nini.EJ was fine with that.
Relationships: Ricky Bowen/E.J. Caswell, Ricky Bowen/Nini Salazar-Roberts
Series: lost but not found [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1838596
Comments: 13
Kudos: 44





	why you bother me when you know you dont want me?

**Author's Note:**

> omg the response on the last fic was kinda surprising 🥺👉🏼👈🏼 thanks everyone for reading and i apologize in advance for the angst that you are about to experience in this fic l m a o
> 
> title from 'love galore' by sza ft. travis scott

Ricky was easy.

He was easy when they were hooking up; told EJ exactly what to do, exactly what he liked. Listened when EJ told him to go slower, go faster, get on top, grip him tighter.

He was easy to please and not just in the bedroom. Ricky was decisive when he was hungry; would tell EJ exactly what restaurant he wanted to go to or what he wanted to eat. Would grab EJ’s hand and place it on his back when he wanted the older boy to trace circles into his skin as they laid in bed naked. Didn’t care whether EJ was wearing designer jeans or loose H&M sweatpants. (He was going to take them off anyway.)

It was easy to fall into bed with Ricky.

But it was a lot harder when Ricky got back together with Nini.

EJ didn’t try to pretend like he understood why Ricky chose to go back to Nini. Didn’t bother lying to himself and pretending he wasn’t just the slightest bit hurt. He knew Ricky and him were just “hooking up” but it kind of felt like there was something else bubbling between them that hadn’t been able to come to fruition.

But EJ was trying to be a better person so he respected that Ricky had made his choice.

Ricky chose Nini.

EJ was fine with that.

But it was getting harder to ignore the constant unfulfilled tension that Ricky had left him with without a second thought. To ignore the... _ relationship _ Ricky had abandoned without even a note of goodbye to him. EJ was a good actor and it was easy to put on a front that he didn’t care, but he wasn’t  _ that _ good of an actor.

And though EJ was trying to be a better person, it was getting harder to ignore the resentment he felt when he would see Ricky and Nini smiling at each other in the hallways, see them holding hands during Drama Club meetings, see them kiss goodbye and go their separate ways when school would end.

EJ was trying to be a better person so he didn’t act on his feelings for Ricky. Ignored them and projected them onto other people instead; hooked up with random people at parties, one night stands with pretty girls with chocolate eyes and pretty boys with curly hair.

It was easy.

Until one night, he went to a party.

He was bored, it was a Saturday, his parents weren’t home and he wanted a quick fuck.

He didn’t think that quick fuck would end up being Ricky Bowen bent over Heather Calloway’s bathroom sink, eyes rolled into the back of his head as EJ pounded into him from behind at a brutal pace.

EJ stopped trying to be a better person after that.

He was selfish and Ricky was easy.

If this was the only way Ricky wanted him: as a side piece, a homewrecker, a rough fuck after a night of pretending to be in love with Nini. EJ was going to take it.

Ricky would text him, ‘ _ come over’  _ and EJ would. Would go to Ricky’s house after Nini left and let Ricky ride him like a bitch in his childhood bed. Would order food and laugh with each other afterwards, pretending like there wasn’t another person out there thinking they had Ricky all to themselves.

EJ would text him,  _ ‘wyd’  _ on a weekend and Ricky would respond:  _ ‘nini’s here. i’ll go to yours when she leaves.’  _ And Ricky would. Would let EJ bend him over the Caswell kitchen counter; spread him wide and hit his porcelain skin. Would sit in the living room afterwards and argue over mugs of hot chocolate about tv shows as if there wasn’t another person standing in between what could’ve been for them.

Because they didn’t just hook up anymore.

They almost always ended up curled next to each other in bed after their excursions; limbs tangled together and faces tucked into each other’s necks. Ricky liked it when EJ rubbed his back; liked the way it tickled, caused goosebumps to form over his pale skin and giggled whenever EJ would trace his spine lightly with his nimble fingers. EJ liked it when Ricky let him plop down on top of him and rest his head on the younger boy’s chest; liked the way they would just look at each other with soft smiles and tired eyes as Ricky played with his hair and made his eyes flutter as he pulled on the brown strands.

It was easy to pretend that they only had each other. That they were together. That there wasn’t another unwilling person in their equation.

Ricky was easy but it was getting harder for EJ to ignore his feelings; to ignore that something deep inside him was beginning to harbor affection towards the younger boy and that that affection was beginning to make EJ want Ricky all for himself.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he said one day.

Ricky froze where he was sitting on the bed, shirt half on as he looked at the back of EJ’s head, the older boy turned away from him. “What?”

“We can’t keep doing this,” EJ told him, speaking to Ricky over his shoulder.

The younger boy scrambled to sit next to him on the bed, pulling his shirt on all the way and touching EJ’s shoulder to force the senior to look at him.

“Where is this coming from?” he said frantically.

EJ sighed. “Look. I like you. I really like you. And unless I’ve been reading the late night cuddle sessions the wrong way, I’m pretty sure you like me too.”

For all that EJ had a reputation of being bad at communication, he was also known for being extremely blunt when he  _ really _ wanted something.

He looked at Ricky expectantly when the boy stared at him silently, raising his eyebrows to push for a response.

“I— yeah. I do. I like you, too,” he stuttered.

“Okay,” EJ sighed again. He has been doing that a lot lately. Sighing. “Well. Then I can’t keep doing this if you have a girlfriend. It’s not fair to me and it’s not fair to Nini.”

“Where was this attitude at Heather Calloway’s party?” Ricky scoffed, not unkindly.

EJ felt his jaw clench. “Listen. I thought I would be fine pretending that you didn’t mean anything to me. I thought I would be fine letting you parade around with Nini in public while I’m hidden in your back pocket but— but I can’t do it anymore, okay? I’m not your fucking side hoe despite how much I pretend I’m okay with being one.”

Ricky nervously played with a loose string on his pants, staring at the ground in concentration as he thought of what to say. EJ waited patiently; he had all the time in the world to listen to Ricky’s excuses, already having a rebuttal for every possible one on his tongue.

“You’re not just a side piece to me,” Ricky said with finality, looking at EJ seriously.

“Then prove it to me.”

Ricky waited, searching his face for answers.

“Break up with Nini.”

He said it in a way that made Ricky know there were no if, ands, or buts; that if he didn’t do what the older wanted, he could potentially lose not only Nini, but EJ as well. 

He gave Ricky an ultimatum. It was either him or Nini. He was no longer allowed to have both.

“Okay,” Ricky stated simply, grabbing the older boy’s face between his hands and bringing him in for a soft kiss. “I’ll break up with her.”

“Promise?”

Another kiss on EJ’s lips. “I promise.”

And EJ let himself believe Ricky; let himself be pulled back down on the bed as the younger boy deepened their kiss and stroked the hair at the back of his head gently. Let himself ignore the longing that ached in his heart with every touch of Ricky’s skin against his.

EJ let himself believe that.

Until it became too much.

It had become weeks and Ricky hadn’t broken up with her. More and more weeks of EJ hiding in the shadows as Nini continued to look at Ricky with hearts in her eyes.

EJ couldn’t take it anymore. Could no longer bring himself to act like he was okay; like what he and Ricky were doing was okay. Being the side piece was nowhere near as fun and mischievous and thrilling as the movies made it seem.

He was tired of making excuses for Ricky, tired of Ricky making excuses for himself. Tired of knowing that a sweet girl like Nini was getting taken advantage of and tired of letting himself be taken advantage of.

He snapped one night.

EJ was more aggressive than usual, taking Ricky from behind and pushing his face down into the mattress as he fucked into him roughly, holding onto the younger boy’s pale hips in a bruising grip.  _ I bet princess Nini doesn’t do it like this, huh? _

He scratched at Ricky’s pale back, leaving angry red marks on his perfect skin. Bit hard into he junior’s neck and shoulders, making sure to paint dark red bruises in his wake. Marked Ricky up wherever he could, letting everyone know who Ricky belonged to in the only way that he knew how since Ricky wasn’t really his yet.

He came inside Ricky, nothing in between them, no condom separating their skin as EJ painted Ricky’s walls, claiming him as his own.

He didn’t realize he was crying until they came apart, Ricky turning around and taking EJ’s face in his hands frantically, wiping the tears from his eyes.

“Do you love me?” EJ sobbed, bringing his hands to cover Ricky’s, his eyes wild.

“EJ—“

“ _ Do you love me!?!” _ he screamed, pain echoing in his voice.

Ricky brought their faces together, looking EJ in the eyes as he desperately reassured the senior in a gentle whisper. “Yes.  _ Yes, _ I love you. So much.”

“Then why are you still with her?!? You keep saying that but you’re still fucking  _ with her!”  _ EJ choked out.

“I know. I know and I’m sorry,” Ricky placated, doing his best to calm down EJ’s hysterics. “But you have to realize how hard it is. You know how much I care about Nini. I can’t stand hurting her.”

EJ laughed, malice icing his tone. “God, you’re such a dick! _‘Can’t stand hurting her!?!’_ _‘I care about her?!’_ Well, what about _me?!_ You said you cared about _me,_ you said you loved _me!_ You’re hurting _me_!”

Ricky pulled him to his chest, shushing him and stroking his hair gently as EJ broke down in his arms, crying into his shoulder. The junior whispered a mantra of  _ I’m sorry’s _ and  _ I love you’s _ into EJ’s skin and rubbed circles onto his back.

“You promised me, Ricky. You  _ promised. _ ..” EJ muttered under his breath, clinging to the younger boy desperately.

Ricky was easy. To please, to hang out with, to have sex with.

But Ricky was not easy to love.

Nini could attest to that.

She knew that Ricky was stubborn, hard headed, horrible at communication.

Most of all he was horrible at understanding his own feelings.

She learned that the hard way, when he broke up with her the first time.

Unbeknownst to the boys however, she was learning it the hard way again, as she stood outside the door of Ricky’s bedroom. She watched through the small opening as EJ cried into her boyfriend’s shoulder and listened to Ricky tell him he loved him.

Something that had taken him months to tell her.

She turned on her heel quietly, walking down the stairs and out of the house as quickly as she could. She had seen enough.

Nini sat in her car and stared silently ahead.

She had been with Ricky earlier. They went on a picnic date and he held her hand and told her she was beautiful. She had come back to Ricky’s house as a surprise; brought his favorite take out because she passed by it on her way home from her piano lessons and thought of him.

She swallowed past the lump in her throat, turned on her car, and drove away.

Ricky was hard to love.

But he was very easy to lose.

**Author's Note:**

> cheating is bad pls dont do it,,,its not fun to be cheated on and its not fun to be the one someone is cheating with,,,talking from experience here lmao
> 
> anyway rickys an asshole in this fic sorry and ej + nini deserve better but its fine
> 
> stayed tuned for nini's pov
> 
> also listen to the playlist based on this fic (its kinda fire):  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5ouBlUqKte2PzZf6F7LaCH?si=PyefwARWTei72frSSmCFDw


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